


You Came to Me

by JadeSelena



Series: Beholden [2]
Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-14 08:45:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16909818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JadeSelena/pseuds/JadeSelena
Summary: Follow-up to 'I Try to Forget' from Haruka's POV.  Addresses the Usagi/Haruka relationship and the reason for it coming to an end.  Established Usagi/Mamoru and Haruka/Michiru.  Be forewarned that the ship is Usagi/Haruka.





	You Came to Me

**Author's Note:**

> I'm posting this now before I lose my nerve lol
> 
> It is also a song fic (Garbage's A Stroke of Luck), but feel free to skip over the bolded paragraphs if that's not your thing.
> 
> Bold sections are song, italics are flashbacks.
> 
> I own nothing except the idea. Set after the events of Sailor Moon S.

**Hanging by threads of palest silver**  
**I could have stayed that way forever**  
**Bad blood and ghosts wrapped tight around me**  
**Nothing could ever seem to touch me**  
_  
_ Though her body lay unmoving in the bed she shared with her lover, Haruka’s mind was racing.  The look on Usagi’s face upon hearing ‘Koneko’ pained her to recall.  Unfortunate then that it was burned into her mind’s eye…  She hadn’t meant to use the old nickname – it had slipped.  Just as her alter-ego had slipped earlier in the week when she’d reached out to a wounded Sailor Moon after a particularly nasty battle.  The flinch she’d received in response had made her feel dirty, tainted, and unworthy; feelings she’d come to accept in the weeks since she’d ended their secret relationship.  A relationship that never should have happened.  That never _would_ have happened if she’d kept her guard up…  But who would have thought that a clumsy emotional wreck like Odango Atama could have wormed her way into a heart turned to stone by duty?    

 **I lose what I love most**  
**Did you know I was lost until you found me?**  
  
Before Usagi there were only two things in the universe that had meant anything to Haruka: Michiru and the mission.  And still she would have sacrificed the former in the name of the latter in an instant if she’d had to.  Not without remorse or unbearable pain, no, but she would have done it all the same.  Almost _had_ a few times…  Before Usagi, Haruka had hidden behind the mission as an excuse to not make friends, to not be a part of something outside of it, to not truly live or _dream_ anymore.  But the younger girl’s lack of restraint had been refreshing, her enthusiasm amusing, and her laughter contagious.  So very different from their battle-hardened souls – so very _fascinating._  Possessed of unapologetic cheer and an untouched innocence, Haruka had been certain the most difficult thing Odango Atama had ever endured was a broken nail or not being asked to the dance, and she’d found herself strangely protective of the girl.  When Usagi became the newest target of the Death Busters ignoring that instinct – standing by and watching the pure heart be taken – had been far worse than abandoning Michiru, because where they were warriors dedicated to the cause, sweet never-hurt-a-fly bun-head deserved that fate less than anyone they knew.  Worse even than with the other pure-hearted victims, for reasons Haruka wouldn’t allow herself to contemplate.  Michiru had known, though; Michiru knew her better than she knew herself most times.  She knew Michiru knew because earlier that day when Haruka had asked Usagi if the breakup with Mamoru meant she was available, Michiru had been quick to point out that it was a joke, but when Haruka had followed up with a declaration of fondness for the girl Michiru had been tellingly silent.  Haruka _knew_ Michiru knew by the sheer number of times Neptune had asked Uranus if she’d be able to let their innocent friend die in the name of the mission; each time the response had been a resigned ‘yes’ (and she’d meant it), but the sandy-haired senshi had never been more grateful for anything than she had been for being able to pronounce the trip a waste and carefully return the girl’s crystal to her chest.

 **A stroke of luck or a gift from God?**  
**The hand of fate or devil's claws?**  
**From below or saints above?**  
**You came to me**

Yes, Michiru had known – probably even before Haruka herself had – that the sandy-haired girl had developed quite the soft spot for the bun-headed junior, once making a seemingly offhand remark about her affectionate nicknames for the girl.  As much as Michiru was Haruka’s soul mate – her comrade at arms cut from the same cloth – Usagi was the flip side of her coin, tempting as much for what she _wasn’t_ as for what she was: she wasn’t cold, or jaded; she wasn’t torn down or disheartened by the darkness in the world around her.  Which was why when they had witnessed Usagi transform into Sailor Moon – the one constant thorn in their sides since they’d accepted their mission – Haruka had been shocked.  Not only that Usagi Tsukino, notorious for her laziness and klutziness, could be the moon princess and protector of Tokyo, but also that someone whose daily life consisted of leading her troops into battle against forces of evil could remain so pure and optimistic and compassionate.  Was Usagi too naïve to understand the magnitude of what was at stake?  Or did she simply believe herself to be so powerful that she could never fail?

 **Here comes the cold again**  
**I feel it closing in**  
**It's falling down and**  
**All around me falling**

_“Everyone lives by stepping upon someone else,” Haruka spoke as she drove, watching their young passenger in the rearview._

_“Don’t you think so, Usagi?” inquired Michiru._

_Usagi shook her head in denial.  “But… the people doing the stepping might be fine with that, but what about the people who are getting stepped on?!  Shouldn’t you think about the people who are being sacrificed?!  I can’t ignore other people suffering just to save myself!”  She took a breath and added, “It might be impossible for me alone but if we all joined forces we’d be able to find a way to avoid sacrificing anyone!  I’m sure of it!”_

_Michiru’s voice was sad, almost pitying.  “Usagi, you’re a kind girl…”_

_Haruka kept her eyes on the blonde, wondering whether to condemn her her naiveté or admire her her determination.  Unable to decide, the older girl turned back to the road with a small smile gracing her lips._

No, not her alone, Haruka had realized, replaying that conversation in her head after the reveal.  Usagi believed that _together_ they could overcome all obstacles, even the Messiah of Silence, without any loss of life.  At that point Haruka had had to deem her at best utterly delusional and at _worst_ dangerously reckless, given that she was Sailor Moon and should have known better, and suddenly the same qualities that had initially drawn her to the girl had become cause for scorn and ridicule.  Two leaders, same mission, but two very different approaches.  Sailor Moon had challenged Uranus, renounced her methods and declared them cruel, and in the end had been proven right to.  Even without the ability to transform, even after everything the Outer Senshi had done to her, Usagi had not hesitated to rush in and save them and their talismans.  And when meeting the Messiah of Silence she had put the fate of the world in her trust that goodness would triumph over evil.  Had forged ahead on her own while Neptune and Uranus had screamed themselves hoarse at her and her stupidity.  But it hadn’t stopped her – Haruka was beginning to think nothing ever _could_ – and she’d risked her own life to save the world and Saturn on _her_ terms.  In _her_ way.  And when she’d reemerged from Pharaoh 90 with a newborn Hotaru, exhausted but victorious, Haruka had finally understood how that tiny slip of a girl, even with her many failings, could be the Messiah of Peace, the future queen of Crystal Tokyo, and leader to them all.

 **You say that you'll be there to catch me**  
**Or will you only try to trap me**  
**These are the rules I make**  
**Our chains were meant to break**  
**You'll never change me**

Not only had their future queen saved Saturn and the world from succumbing to the darkness, but her infuriating idealism had saved the Outer Senshi from it as well, earning their respect, their loyalty, and, unintentionally, another piece of Haruka’s heart.  So when she’d asked them to stay – just in case there was some residual clean-up to be done – Haruka had agreed, if for no other reason than to salvage what remained of the friendships that had so profoundly suffered throughout their quests for the Grail and the Messiah.  Except that what should have been a short stay had turned into months, extended for every minor villain that appeared, and what was supposed to be a mentor/mentee relationship (truth be told it was unclear who had ended up teaching whom more) had turned into something deeper.  The older girl hadn’t meant it to – really, she hadn’t – but the more time she spent with Usagi, both on the battlefield and off, the more she came to admire and covet her.  Still, for all the flirting and teasing she never would have turned it physical.  Or _romantic._ **  
**

_It was meant to be a ‘thank you for not giving up on me’ picnic, nothing more (what better way to thank Usagi than with food?), but when the younger girl’s lids fluttered closed Haruka found herself wanting to claim her lips once more, this time without the touch of menace that had laced their first kiss.  She wondered if Usagi Tsukino would kiss the same as Sailor Moon had, or if it would be softer, like the girl behind the warrior.  A pink tongue darting out to moisten expectant lips destroyed the last of Haruka’s self-control and she closed the distance to find out.  It was meant to be a quick experiment (merely to see if she kissed differently out of character), but when the other girl’s hand moved to cup Haruka’s cheek it was like ten thousand pounds of pressure holding her in place, despite the touch being feather-light.  And when Usagi scooted closer, practically into her lap but still hesitant, Haruka couldn’t have stopped even if she’d wanted to.  She *did* want to, her brain screamed.  She *had* to.  If she stopped now she could play it off as a mistake; as getting caught up in the moment.  It took every ounce of willpower she had, and telling herself that she could have just ruined the friendship they’d worked so hard to rebuild, to finally manage to pull back, somewhat breathless, to look into widened eyes.  “Kon…”_

_“Shhh!”_

_Before Haruka could protest she was being kissed again, her face sandwiched between determined palms.  It was less tentative now, more eager, and just a little bit sloppy.  But she didn’t care, the experience infinitely more charming than unpleasant.  She began to guide the younger girl, setting the pace with gentle urgings until Usagi caught on and followed her lead.  When the contact was broken minutes later she was almost bereft._

_“I want you to show me,” Usagi whispered, half statement, half plea._

_“Show you what, Koneko-chan?”  It wouldn’t matter, though; Haruka wouldn’t even think to deny her, not with her gaze both cloudy and hopeful._

_“You know,” the girl began, her cheeks turning a bright red.  “…Everything.”_

_It was thoroughly unexpected and wholly endearing and at that moment Haruka could think of nothing she wanted more.  Couldn’t think of a single reason *not to*.  Still…  “Are you certain, Koneko-chan?”_

_Usagi gave a sharp nod.  “Hai!”_

_Haruka knew just how certain she was when the food was pushed from the blanket, untouched._

Infinitely more certain than Haruka had been afterwards when she’d promised that they’d figure it out.  She hadn’t really known that everything would be okay; had only known that they’d crossed a line that couldn’t be uncrossed.  That there was no going back and that she didn’t even want to.  She knew that she should probably wish that she could _take_ it back, but couldn’t even bring herself to do that much.  And for the months it had lasted it had been worth it.  Despite the secrecy because no one would understand (and they didn’t really need to) and living in denial because somewhere deep down she’d known it would have to end.  They’d never talked about Michiru or Mamoru again (wouldn’t invite the guilt), and avoided the topic of the future because its mere mention had the power to break the spell they were happily under.  All the hiding and eluding wouldn’t matter, though; reality would find them and shatter their perfect fantasy world soon enough.

 **Here comes the cold again**  
**I feel it closing in**  
**You're falling down and**  
**All around me falling**

“Haruka?”

Haruka realized she’d moved to the window in her musings, and turned away from the lights outside to see Michiru sitting up in their bed, looking perfect as always even roused from sleep.  “Hmm?”

Pulling her knees up to her chest Michiru rested her chin between them.  “What are you contemplating so seriously?”

How badly Haruka wanted to confess her sins, both against Michiru and Usagi, but she knew it would only be to ease her own guilt, an attempt to lessen the pain.  “Oh, you know me – always weeping the state of affairs.”

Michiru tilted her head in consideration; offered, “Do you want to share them with me?  Lighten the load?”

“I don’t deserve it to be lightened,” Haruka whispered painfully.

Rising gracefully from the mattress Michiru went to sit across from her lover.  “If you didn’t deserve it I wouldn’t still be here.”

Haruka’s brow furrowed.  “What do you mean?”

Even Michiru’s scoff was elegant.  “I think you forget how well I know you.”  She put a sympathetic hand on Haruka’s leg.  “It’s not getting better, is it?”

“What isn’t?”  Playing dumb seemed to be the best course of action at this point.

Michiru let out a sad sigh.  “Oh, Haruka.  Do you really think me so blind?  I know you are in love with her.”

Haruka tried and failed to cover her surprise.  “Why didn’t you say something?”

“What would I have said?” Michiru shrugged.  “We’ve been through too much together to let this come between us.  I know it doesn’t mean you love me any less.”

“Gomen.”  Haruka didn’t know what else she could possibly say.

Michiru shook her head, teal locks swaying.  “Don’t be sorry for loving us both – your big heart, hidden as it may be, is why I love you.”

Haruka took a shuddering breath in preparation of coming clean.  “I didn’t _only_ love her, Michiru.”  She cursed herself for the pretty grimace her words had evoked.

Reclaiming her hand Michiru settled it in her own lap.  “Yes, I suspected that as well.  Though for many reasons, I’d hoped you to know better…”

“I _did_ know better,” Haruka admitted, eyes begging her companion to not hate her.  “But I…”

“I understand,” Michiru interrupted, tone worryingly even.  “She is our princess and you’re drawn to her.”  Her lips formed a sad smile.  “You always were more protective of her than the others.”

‘Always’ meant as far back as the Silver Millenium, Haruka knew, and there was no point in denying it.

Michiru turned to look out the window.   “Maybe if it were anyone else…”

Haruka suspected she’d been about to say she would be less forgiving; knew she’d trailed off because she’d realized if Usagi _had_ been anyone else, if she wasn’t who she was, or more specifically who she _would be_ , then they would quite possibly be having a different conversation.

 **Stroke of luck or a gift from God?**  
**Hand of fate or devil's claws?**  
**From below or saints above?**  
**You come to me now**

_Usagi hopped off the motorcycle and removed her helmet with a groan.  “Ugh – I’m so late.  *Again.*  Rei is going to kill me.”_

_When she failed to move Haruka removed her own helmet, prompting, “Go, Koneko-chan.   I’ll see you tomorrow.”_

_“But I don’t *want* to study,” Usagi argued with a plaintive hand on Haruka’s chest.  “I’d much rather be with you.”_

_Haruka ignored the adorable pout of her lips; smiled.  “So would I.  But I have to get home and you need to pass school eventually.” Lifting an eyebrow she teased, “Flunking out doesn’t look very good on a queen’s résumé.”_

_The pout deepened.  “You’re so mean to me, Ruka-chan.”_

_“You know that’s not true,” Haruka chuckled.  “But just in case…”  Pulling the girl into her their lips met briefly.  “Better?”_

_“Not yet,” Usagi shook her head with an overly innocent smile and a lifted finger.  “Maybe *one* more…”_

_Haruka couldn’t help but laugh.  “Go, Koneko-chan.”  Making sure no one was spying she gave her one last kiss, a tad longer and more passionate, then nudged her towards the temple; watched in amusement as her love bounded up the steps and paused at the top to wave before disappearing inside.  In the process of putting her helmet back on Haruka stopped, seeing a flash of familiar green through the trees, and dismounted her motorcycle to follow the figure; was at once unfazed and yet devastated to come upon Setsuna, wearing a look that clearly said it was not a social visit.  “What are you doing here?”  She hadn’t meant for her tone to be so accusatory._

_Setsuna gave her friend a sad smile.  “Haruka, we need to talk.”_

_“No,” Haruka refused, as though she had a choice.  She should have known that the senshi of time and space would find out eventually, though somehow in all the ways she’d thought this could go wrong Pluto’s interference hadn’t even made the list._

_“You have to know that what you’re doing can’t go on, Haruka.  You’re changing the future.”  Setsuna’s tone was light but the words couldn’t have held more weight._

_“We’re going to stop.  Just not now.”  It sounded a lame excuse, even to Haruka’s own ears._

_“Do you really think you’ll be able to?” Setsuna wondered, not unkindly.  “The longer you continue the harder it will be.  For you both.”_

_Haruka couldn’t argue – all the times she'd sworn she’d put a stop to it but could never seem to find the motivation.  Always putting it off to ‘tomorrow.’_

_Setsuna sighed.  “She is young and naïve, Haruka, and you are giving her what she thinks she wants.”_

_“Are you saying she doesn’t really love me?” Haruka demanded, her voice betraying an undercurrent of anger._

_“I am saying she doesn’t understand the consequences of her actions,” Setsuna soothed.  “If she did – if she knew the risk she was taking with the future – she wouldn’t be doing it.  No matter *how much* she loves you.”_

_Haruka ran a hand through her hair; feebly claimed, “You don’t know that.”_

_“Yes, I do.”  Pulling a letter from within her clothes Setsuna handed it to her friend.  “And you may not want to acknowledge it but you know it, too.”_

_“What’s this?” Haruka asked, though she had strong and sinking suspicions.  If it was possible her friend’s smile had grown even more sad._

_“I’ll give you a minute.”_

_The green-haired beauty disappeared in a flash and Haruka spent the minute just gathering up her courage to unfold the paper.  When she finally did her worst fears were confirmed, the messy scrawl immediately recognizable._

_~My dearest Ruka-chan.  This letter is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to write, with you sleeping beside me, unaware but still restless, as though you somehow sense what I am doing.  Harder still than my exit exams (which I do pass by the way, thanks to Ami.  She really is a miracle worker!).  But I’m getting off track.  First, I want you to know that I don’t regret a second we spent together all these years past.  It’s what makes it so hard to put these words to parchment now.  But we were wrong – we didn’t figure it out.  I was wrong, thinking our love could overcome whatever stood in our way.  For all the times love and hope saved the world, our love wasn’t able to save Earth or the future of the Moon Kingdom.  The people suffer.  The universe suffers.  I’m not telling you this to make you feel guilty – Don’t! Because of you I know more happiness than I have any right to with all the pain I’ve caused my people – but so you understand why I have to ask this of you at all.  I need you to walk away from me, my love.  It’s unfair of me to put this on you, I know, but I need you to be strong where I cannot be.  I can barely bring myself to finish this letter, so I know my love-struck teenaged self would never be able to do what needs to be done.  Would never believe that loving you could ever lead to anything but happiness and peace.  It’s selfish, too, because I could have sent Pluto back to before we came to mean so much to each other.  But I want to be able to keep the memory of you loving me.  If I can’t have you, I need to at least have that.  As much as I may hate you for making me question it, our brief time together is a memory I will always cherish.  Which brings me to my next request: don’t tell me why you’re doing it – you know I’ll only kick up a Tokyo-sized storm and find a way to convince you that I can change what is predestined.  I can’t.  I’ve tried.  Oh, how I’ve tried.  And there is only so long I can put our love above my people before I have to face the heartbreaking reality that I cannot have – or save – both…  Anyway, finally and most important, I need you to remember that even though I will be with Endymion my heart will be with you.  Always and forever.  I hope you never doubt that.  With a love deeper than even I ever thought possible, your koneko.~_

_The ink was smudged in various places, mostly near the end, making it harder to read and even harder still to ignore Serenity’s pain.  Haruka willed her own tears not to fall.  “Setsuna!”_

_Setsuna slowly reemerged from the trees._

_“How can the future change so much?”  Haruka could hardly believe it.  Not the part where she and Usagi had remained together (surprisingly, that surprised her not at all), but that it would be detrimental to the fate of the world.  The knowledge was, to say the least, bittersweet._

_“Usagi altered its course when she asked you and Michiru to stay…”  Setsuna reclaimed the letter and made it disappear.  “You, when you agreed.  There are multiple possible outcomes, like a path forking again and again.”_

_They weren’t meant to spend enough time together to fall in love, Haruka deciphered.  “But how did it get so *bad*?”_

_Setsuna looked to the sky, then back to her friend.  “The path you’re on now, she doesn’t become the Earth’s sovereign and savior when she’s supposed to.”_

_“I would never stop her from protecting Earth,” Haruka denied with a shake of her head._

_With a shake of her own head Setsuna revealed, “You don’t.  But the world’s rulers don’t unite under her guidance as they were meant to.”_

_Haruka gave an angry snort.  “Because of me?”_

_“It may be the future but many people are still not ready to welcome a woman leader, much less…”  Setsuna paused, then began anew.  “She’s more acceptable a regent to them with Endymion by her side; they can pretend it is him they follow.  And without her leadership to direct them, wars continue and the people suffer.”_

_Despite the rephrasing Haruka knew exactly what she meant.  “There’s always been war – why should we pay for other people’s misogyny and bigotry?”_

_“You shouldn’t, and at one time you convinced Serenity that that was their choice.”  Setsuna’s gaze became troubled.  “But there will be an attack from outside the galaxy, and by the time everyone decides to set their feelings and differences aside and submit to her command it will be too late.”_

_That could only mean one thing but Haruka couldn’t help but breathe, “Earth is destroyed?”_

_Setsuna held up a hand.  “I’ve already said more than I should have.”_

_“What if I refuse?  If they’re so closed-minded and hateful maybe they deserve to die.”  Suddenly Uranus wasn’t feeling so charitable towards the world she’d sworn to protect; the world the Sailor Senshi had already risked their lives on multiple occasions to save._

_“I asked Serenity that same question, and as you know her well enough to know why she has decided to forsake her own happiness, she knows you.”  Setsuna smiled softly, a hint of amusement.  “She said that after all your misguided attempts you wouldn’t pass up the chance to *actually* save the world.  She’s been teasing you about that for years.”_

_Haruka couldn’t help the sad smile that played on her lips; suspected that Serenity *also* knew that she could refuse her koneko nothing._

**Don't ask me why**  
**Don't even try**  
  
**A stroke of luck or a gift from God?**  
**The hand of fate or devil's claws?**  
**From below or saints above?**  
**You came to me**

Haruka couldn’t share that with anyone, though, lest it disrupt anew the course she’d reluctantly corrected, blinking Chibiusa out of existence once more.  Haruka held onto that, the only tangible evidence that she’d done the right thing; watching Usagi and her future daughter the one salve that could lessen the ache in Uranus’ heart over all she’d given up.

“Haruka?”

Blinking out of her thoughts Haruka met Michiru’s pained eyes.

“Perhaps it is time we should go,” Michiru suggested softly.

Every part of Haruka balked at the idea.  “I can’t just leave her.  She needs us.”

Michiru shook her head.  “She has the others.  You are not doing her - or yourself - any favors by staying.  The wound cannot heal if it is constantly being reopened by seeing each other.”

Haruka wondered if Michiru would be so kind and understanding if she knew that the affair had only ended because Serenity had requested it.  That every day Haruka mourned a future she’d been teased with but would never get to have, and the light in Usagi’s eyes that she was responsible for dimming…

 **Here comes the cold again**  
**I feel it closing in**  
  
_Haruka lay in bed, wrapped around Usagi, cursing herself for not having had the strength to follow through.  She’d invited the girl over to do in private as Serenity had asked, but seeing her on their doorstep – beautifully flushed from running in her eagerness to get there – resolve had faltered.  When the petite blonde had immediately launched herself into Haruka’s arms, peppering her face with kisses, it had crumbled completely and she’d allowed herself to be led to the bedroom.  If the future queen had noticed her companion’s watery eyes during their love-making, or the death-grip she was being held in now, she did not mention it._

_"Mmm.  I wish we could stay like this forever…”_

_The words were a harsh and unwelcome reminder of what had to be done. And *why*.  Pulling away Haruka moved to sit at the edge of the bed. “Koneko-chan, we need to talk…”_

_“Ugh!” Usagi groaned, “What did I do now?”_

_If her heart hadn’t been in the process of breaking Haruka would have laughed.  “You didn’t do anything.  It’s just…”  She trailed off, turning away to stare out the window because she couldn’t bear to face her young love. “We can’t be together anymore.  It’s not right…”  For so many reasons, and yet if not for Serenity’s letter Haruka would not have cared about any of them._

_Usagi hustled up to sit next to her, tugging on her arm until Haruka gave in and their gazes met. “Is it my scores? I know I haven’t been spending as much time on my studies as I should be…”_

_Haruka shook her head, biting her lip to stave off tears._

_“Just tell me what I did and I won’t do it again. I *promise*!”_

_Haruka stood to pace; to distance herself from the devastation she would inflict.  “It’s not you, Koneko.  It’s just… You need to go back to Mamoru.  It’s where you belong.”  As true as that might have been, they were still close to the hardest words she’d ever had to utter._

_“How can you say that?!” Usagi was suddenly beside her, grabbing her hand and placing it over her heart. “This is where I belong, Ruka-Chan!  With you!  Can’t you feel it?”_

_All at once Haruka realized that Serenity had been right; that Usagi’s idealism and unabashed hope would not allow her to understand why they couldn’t be together.  Why it would destroy the world rather than protect it.  “I don’t feel *anything*…”  Shaking free of Usagi’s grasp Haruka stepped back. “…except the need for you to leave.  Michiru will be home soon.”  The name had its intended effect but the crushed look on the girl’s face, the barely restrained tears, made Haruka hate herself.  And the Earth’s ignorant (and ungrateful) residents for forcing her hand._

_“You’re just teasing, right?!  Why are you doing this?! You said you…” Usagi’s voice cracked; fell to a hoarse whisper: “You said you *love* me!”_

_Haruka struggled to keep her tone flat, indifferent, when all she wanted to do was assure the girl that she had not been lied to.  That in actuality she was *so* loved that Haruka couldn’t bear to be the cause of her guilt and pain in the future.  “I was mistaken; caught up in your adoration.  I love Michiru.”_

_“No…” Usagi shook her head in denial._

_“*Yes*!” Bending to pick Usagi’s clothes from the floor Haruka thrust them into her arms and turned back to the window so her own tears could fall undetected. “And you love Mamoru.  That’s how it was meant to be and that’s how it *is*; you have to accept that.”_

_“But I don’t *want* to, Ruka-Chan!  I want to be with *you*!”_

_The hand clutching Haruka’s arm felt like fire and she quickly wiped at the tracts on her cheeks.  “Baka!” Spinning around she almost accidentally knocked Usagi to the ground. “Listen for once in your life: I don’t *want* you!”_

_Usagi stumbled backwards and began to put on her clothes.  “Ruka…”_

_“You have to leave, Usagi.” The minutes it took her to dress were agonizing, and once her shoes were on Haruka wasted no time in pushing her into the living room. “I don’t want Michiru to find you here…”  Couldn’t keep up this charade much longer.  The girl’s submissive nod felt at once like a victory and the worst kind of defeat._

_“You can make me go…”  Usagi retrieved her bag from where she’d tossed it earlier and opened the apartment door.  “…but you can’t make me stop loving you…”_

_As soon as the door closed behind her Haruka put her fist through the nearest wall – narrowly missing one of Michiru’s paintings – before collapsing to her knees._

**It's falling down and**  
**All around me falling**

**Falling, falling**

Maybe Michiru was right about leaving.  Because while she was correct that Haruka didn’t love her any less than before – nothing could negate their history or them being soul mates – the fact remained that Haruka would have come to willingly reject their providence for their princess; that right now fate seemed not to be a comforting friend but a mocking enemy, holding what she so desperately wanted hostage and just outside her reach.  Maybe then the only hope _was_ to put some distance between her and the specter of a love relinquished, so that she would remember _why_ Michiru was her true love and destiny.  Drive forever just like they’d planned over a year ago, fall in love all over again, and by the time Haruka had to face Usagi once more she would no longer be devastated by the loss their future queen represented...

**Falling, falling**

As impossible as all that seemed at the moment, Haruka owed it to the girl in front of her to try.

**Falling, falling.**

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> This was always meant to be a three-parter with the last part taking place in the future (probably Crystal Tokyo) but I could never decide whether I wanted it to be a less realistic happy ending or keep it morose like the first two parts. Any opinions and/or suggestions are welcome. I never got past writing half of part two back then so it's all up in the air.


End file.
